only with HOPE, one gets what one searches for

Ughhh!!! I’m about done with taking all the shit you pull. Is it fun to see me get angry and bitch the shit out of you? Or do you enjoy it when you have to calm me down so I would forgive you and not leave? I had just about enough of you and your stupid ass bullshit! From you being overprotective & jealous to you thinking that I’m only calling or texting because I want something else besides just to see you just for a bit.     I’m just the type of girl that is respectful and wouldn’t do cheat or do anything in that kind of manner! It’s fine to be the way you are sometimes but its getting out of hand now. Yeah, the way my job works it includes a little flirting to hustle the men that is surrounding me at the bar or coffee. Its just a job nothing more, but you need to remember that YOUR THE ONE  I return home to. Also I’m your FUCKEN GIRLFRIEND, not some slut that calls or texts you in the middle of the night just to get some dick. I don’t always need a reason to call or text you.  You also can’t be saying the shit you say to me just by assuming I texted or called you because i needed some. Babe reality check! I lasted a year and a half without sex, I think I can survive when I’m not staying with you… Having to deal with all this shit you put me through all the damn time is tiring. Ive had ENOUGH! You pushed me to that point already, I didn’t love you so much I would be long gone  by now. This is absolutely  THE last time I take you back after everything. Show me you can be a boyfriend that shows he cares amd loves me but not too extreme! Treat me like a girl you care, love,trust, and respect! Not like A CALL GIRL!

I seriously wonder how the hell my parents and everyone else in this family expects me to study and just keep my mind on the high school proficiency test coming up on the 17th, when all they do when i do try is bring up everything they got in mind! Ugh! Seriously I may ignore the first warning to anything but when you do say the second warning I don’t ignore it and listen to you guys. But No! Not a little trust in this girl who isn’t the innocent girl you gave birth to? Fuck, you know all of us turned out the way we are only because of who and how family life is and how we get raised. More Pressure, more problems, making more stress on any one of us we just end up not caring much about anything you wish us to do anymore! At this point, I again feel like I am a burden and problem to everything in this family! Say one word and I just go out of the way! I can’t take it and the one thing I was trying so hard to do and finish is now something I don’t want to even think about anymore! I’m tired of dealing and always crying and getting yelling at for even getting teary eyed so why even stick around home anymore? Rather be out either making money or at least just drink every little feeling I feel now away! I sick and tired of it all! Even with the friends I care for but don’t see it or just not the friends I made friends with in the beginning! Just with friends one thing makes me mad is when you say one and do another! Also not respecting anything I say or the space I want! True friends won’t betray eachother, say things behind ones back, or even not have the decency or respect for what one wants and keep going at it until they hit boiling point! Truthfully, want to talk about anyone or anything do it directly and not be a talk but no action when you get called on it! I am not targeting anyone here, all it is my right of opinion! Agree or not, this is what I think! I would say more on this now but I am exhausted and need to get my mind straightened out first and get back to studying for the test. And what I say about family is just venting and all it is. I do LOVE and CARE for them even if problems arouse in the house! 

Fuck those “I can get any girl I want” type of guys. You can’t even keep one, what makes you think girls are going to be all over you? You know what’s attractive? When guys know how to keep it real with their girl, and not 5 others. 

(via cccarolinettran)

(via cccarolinettran)